Used 2 Be

All my life people have told me to never give up. Rather these people are on TV, my family and friends, or in magazines and books is regardless. People in general don't like seeing someone who has given up on themselves and on life. Thank god there are still people out there who have high expectations of what life can and should be. I'm not talking about mansions and $100,000 cars, I'm talking about the simplicity of having a dream and never giving up on it. Maybe not giving up can lead to expensive houses and cars, but mainly, for me, I hope it leads to a life of happiness that isn't filled with regrets, and oh I wish I would have done that when I was younger, moments. I used to be the girl who only wore half my heart on my sleeve, I used to be the girl that was afraid to be myself. I used to be clueless when it came to what I wanted to do with my life. Looking back a few years ago when I was writing on paper and not on a blog, I remember writing, "If someone were to come up to me right now and ask me what my dreams and goals are in life, I would stand there with a blank stare on my face and not have an answer." The thought of this alone used to drive me crazy. How could I have come this far and not know what I want to do? It was almost like I was mentally beating myself up because I would think to myself, doesn't everyone have some type of dream? What is wrong with me?! I was 23, graduated from college, and working in television at the time. From the outside looking in, I probably seemed like a happy go lucky girl that had my shit together. Inside, I was screaming. I had no idea what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be, and everyday I was slowly coming to the realization that I hated my job. After almost three years of this terribly repetitive cycle, I changed from the person I used to be, into the person I wanted to be.

This change most certainly didn't happen over night. It started with my desire to leave Pittsburgh and move somewhere that was going to be warmer, and have better weather. I also knew that I did not want to work in television once I moved. At the time I had been catering on the side with my friend Amanda, and actually liking that more then I did my full time job. Also, about two or three times a week I would visit the 901, Amanda and her husband Matt's house, and she would make these insanely delicious and creative meals, and would basically give me cooking lessons while she did it. I was the happiest when I was at the 901, and when I was there, I was cooking. We would film segments as if it was our own cooking show, I would take pictures of all the dishes, tweet, Instagram, and Facebook them, and share them with any and every one. I realized after a while that cooking is something that makes me happy. The power of food is something amazing. When you serve a hot fresh meal to someone rich or poor, it is something they remember, and something that makes them happy. After many meals and hundreds of photos later, I admitted to myself, friends, and family, that I was considering transitioning over to the culinary world. I was finally only a few, used to be's, away from finding myself.

During the summer of 2012 I used all of my vacation days to travel to various warm locations, in pursuit of a destination where I felt was suitable for me to live. I first went to Raleigh, North Carolina, then I spent over a week in LA and Venice California, and lastly, I went to Florida. In between those big trips I found myself taking frequent weekend trips to NC. They had and still have, an incredible food scene, and more importantly, they have a food truck scene. After talking with Amanda about how we wished to start a food truck some day, to going to the food truck rodeo in Cali on Abbot-Kenny blvd. I was discovering my love and passion for possibly working/owning my own food truck someday. I was leaning more towards NC and when I discovered the Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill areas were blowing up with food trucks, I was pretty much sold.

The old me was extremely nervous to change my life, I was nervous to be letting go of that security 9-5 job with benefits, and yada yada, but the new me was invigorated. Finally I had done my research, found some roommates, secured a job with a catering company in Raleigh, put my two weeks notice in, and was saying my good byes. The hardest part was my family in Ohio, and my Pfennig family in PA. Luckily, I knew as hard as it was to say good bye, it was going to be worth it in the end. I was now wearing my heart proudly on my sleeve, I had soul searched and figured out just what it was I wanted to do in life, and I was making small steps towards the me I always knew was there.

It's been six months now since my move to Raleigh, I've had three jobs and honestly, I've never been happier. A few weeks ago I went to a food truck rodeo in Durham to get some grub and do some research on the local food trucks, one of the trucks had a now hiring sign in the window, I approached the window and asked to speak with someone. I wasn't sure if this was real because it is very rare for food trucks to hire outside, non-family, non-friend people. Well, it was real, and after three weeks of meetings and negotiations, I have accepted the full time position as the truck leader for the Baguettaboutit food truck! Not only am I the new leader of the truck, I am also in charge of the social media as well. Who knew chasing your dreams was literally something that could be accomplished?! I sure didn't. I was always happy for people who said they had and it worked out, but I never knew what it meant until a week ago. I am working with food, leading a food truck, and get to tweet, Instagram, and Facebook as many pics as I want for the truck and business. I wasn't sure what true happiness was, or how to achieve it, but now, I like to think I'm on my way. So, as cheesy as it sounds, to whoever may be reading, it's never too late. I over came the fear to get to know myself, chased after a dream, and shorty, I'll be on my way. The universe works in mysterious ways, In this particular case, it was for me for once, not against me.