Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Passions

Everyone seems to have a passion for something, from being three and having passion to explore every in and out of this new toy that was just placed in front of them, to being 46 and not being able to go a day in your life without thinking about golfing or designing. My personal experiences with passion have seemed to change a lot over the years. First I had a passion for soccer. I could not go a day without playing it, coaching it, talking about it, or buying something to wear to my next practice or game. From ages 3-18 it was literally all I ever thought about. When I grew up I was going to play professionally, I wanted to be in the Olympics and become the next rising star while being compared to the great Mia Hamm. I was going to coach once I had made a career as a player, then possible be an announcer on TV after that. I had it all planned out and never even thought about my other options, that was going to be how I spent my life. 

I received varsity letters, helped start the first ever girls soccer team for my high school, played in traveling leagues for indoor and outdoor, managed to snag captain a majority of the time, yet none of this was able to help stop me from making poor decisions my junior year. I was stripped of captain, and forbidden to participate in soccer my senior year. It was surreal at the time, I knew something big, something life changing had happened but I just wasn't sure how big it actually was. I cried for my mistakes, but then I signed up for video class my senior year and everything changed. I pretended it wasn't difficult and continued to be my natural smiley, laugh out loud self, but inside it was terrifying. My assignments for video class required me to take our mini dv video cameras and go to sporting events to record the games. This I loved because it still meant I was able to be on the field instead of the stands. I went to volleyball games, soccer games, football games, anything that was happening I was there with my camera to record it. Luckily I had made some great friends that year and they guided me through my first editing tutorial. They're names were Jon & Silas. These guys were so smart I couldn't even wrap my brain around what they were telling me sometimes. I remember one time having to ask Jon if he could draw a diagram of what he wanted me to do because I didn't understand how Final Cut Pro worked. Looking back it's kind of really funny, thank god those guys were there because if not, who knows what those football and basketball highlight reels would have looked like. We ended up doing live news casts for our announcements, and added sketch shows to them as well. They became extremely popular and all the kids seemed to want to have their sketch on the Friday shows. It was all the perfect distraction to cover up my misery. I was back in the spot light, taping, editing, anchoring, traveling to the convention center to show how our school does green screen, it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I'll never forget that year in high school, it was the first time ever that I was forced to care about something other then soccer, and I didn't just care about it, I ended up loving it. 

A lot of great things happened that year. I made new friends, saw the school and the students attending it in a whole different spot light, and I was focused on school work for the first time, ever. After graduation I had decided to attend the Art Institute of Pittsburgh for Digital Media Productions. I moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and never looked back. After more than a decade of loving nothing but soccer, my passion had suddenly changed from being the star, to filming the star. After a couple years of classes, I realized I loved editing more, so again my passion had changed. I bought my own copy of Final Cut Pro, well my dad bought it for me, and after that I was the editor for a lot of our college projects. I graduated before my 4 year mark and felt on top of the world. Everything I thought I wasn't going to be able to finish I had, all my up-all-nights felt worth it, and I had accomplished what I was supposed to by the age of 22. 

Passion is a funny thing in life. Some have the same passion their whole life and love every second of it. I on the other hand, have an ever changing passion pallet. After getting hired directly after college for a professional TV production company, I found myself working in a tech center for syndicated television. Syndicated means anything that has aired more than once, so re-runs basically. I enjoyed it for a while and once again felt an incredible sense of accomplishment. Before I knew it 4 years had passed by and I was still in the same room, doing the same thing, and not making as much money as I thought I would be. Fancy titles, roof top parties, alcohol, bragging rights, but yet, I had lost myself somewhere. The comfortability of having a full-time job, benefits, and an editing position had me thinking, have I lost my passion? I don't care about what I'm doing anymore, I'm not moving up here, there's no where to go, I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore? Thought's of, is this it? Is this how I'm going to spend the rest of my life? There's got to be more out there in the world. I've got to find something that motivates me and inspires me, something that makes me actually want to think and want to care. Something that I enjoy doing like I did my senior year in Mr. Franks class. Then it hit me, I am finally to that point in my life where I am pondering what it was like when I was growing up. I was always the first one to say, I'm never going to want to be 18 again, I can't wait to be an adult and do whatever I want, whenever I want. I couldn't believe I was finally eating my own words. 

Well, after 4 years with a truly great company, I had to turn in my two weeks in order to continue my pursuit of happiness. They did a lot for me, it wasn't them and the company, it was me. I wanted to explore more of the world and see what else was out there waiting for me to come find it. I landed in Raleigh, North Carolina and I'm more happy here then I have been in a really long time. I'm still soul searching and trying to find my next gig, but in the mean time I'm blogging, cooking, and attempting to start a channel on Youtube. I feel my passion changing again and this time I'm OK with it. I still love sports and editing with all my heart and now I know they are with me to stay. Cooking is a new passion of mine, as I am currently working in a kitchen and enjoying every single step it takes in creating a delicious and fresh meal. It reminds me of video productions, except with food. Once I find what it is I am looking for, I will share that with you as well. Until then, don't ever hide behind something you're not in fear of what lies next. You'll find a way to swim through it, if not, that's what life jackets are for. Either way, as long as you're above water, nothing else matters.